March 18, 2012

THE SPIRIT OF COOPERATION

I wonder why adults often refuse to behave like adults.  Life is difficult enough already without the added stress and conflict.

Conflict in any relationship is inevitable--how we handle it is another matter.  Cooperation is the game changer.  Would you agree?

For instance, a couple experiences tension in the marriage . . . the husband silently wonders what's "wrong" with his wife, while the wife fumes (yes, in silence) over the fact that her husband is an insensitive, selfish brute.  Neither of these precious souls could be farther from the truth.

The husband is quite right in believing that his wife doesn't think "logically" like he does.  And the confused, hurt wife has a right to feel neglected and invalidated.  You see, men and women think SO differently from each other!  One would say that God has a wicked sense of humor, but I believe God has a specific purpose for wiring men and women so differently in the way we think and feel.

Boys and girls, cooperation is the solution.  I am in the process of discovering that I can be having the absolute WORST week in a long time.  My husband has two choices:  react to my emotional state as in the example above, or pull me into his arms and say in a spirit of cooperation and unity:  "I love you and hate to see you feeling like this.  How can I help you get through this?"

Guys, do you know that this simple statement, coupled with a five-minute embrace, would likely fix over half of your marriage squabbles?!  I've asked other women--they all agree!!

On the flip side, we women have to be mindful that men don't process the emotional side of life the way we do.  They have an issue at work, say a few choice words to the offender, and POOF--case closed.  Knowing they need time to process what we are experiencing--cutting them some slack--and asking for what we need from them are key.

Silence is not golden, as the song says.  Cooperation is PRICELESS, and it could just save your marriage.

(PS - I love you, Rick.)